Depression.

I can’t express how sad I am today. Work was a nightmare. I just wanted to go home and commiserate with myself.

I clearly remember the Challenger incident. I was in sixth grade and we were watching the broadcast live. We weren’t sure exactly what was going on, but knew it wasn’t good. Suddenly, my teacher left the room in tears. I was in shock as well but my 12 year-old mind couldn’t comprehend the tragedy. I knew it was bad and that I should be sad, but I wasn’t.

Now in my twenty-eighth year, the sadness won’t let up.

I stopped by the local dvd rental machine to pick up a comedy to brighten my day a bit. At least it will give me an opportunity not to think about all of the shit for a couple of hours.

I have never seen them in America before but we have video/dvd rental machines. You swipe your credit card and choose a movie. It’s basically a vending machine.

Right next to the machine there is a one of those absurd machines with a crane and cheap gifts. I was watching a woman place shekel after shekel on it. Among the stuffed animals there was a watch. She was resigned to get that damn watch. I don’t know if she thought it was an expensive watch or what but she wouldn’t quit.

She reminded me of Israel. Our collective crane never gets the damn gifts. We try and try but to no avail. We eventually grab the watch, slowly bring it towards the drop box and then suddenly, just when we think its in our grasp, the watch falls. No matter how hard we try we can’t get that damn watch.

I know we have a couple more shekels in our communal pockets, but I’m not sure if we have the resolve to win the watch.

Tags: ilan rimon, space shuttle explosion