Yeshiva students spend a year in Israel…. and Israeli jails. Drug dealing Yeshiva bochers realized that Israel isn’t Disney Land the hard way. It’s no secret that the Yeshiva scene marijuana drug trade is huge in Jerusalem. I had a friend in the army (another american immigrant) whose brother was an undercover cop in Jerusalem. His target was Yeshiva student dealers. Usually, when they are caught all they need to do is rat out their supplier, testify and then are allowed to go free. I heard of this happening on more than one occasion so this article was a bit surprising.
Remember the days when the phrase “extra pickles please” meant something entirely different at the Subway sandwich shop on Jaffa? Rumor has it that an off-duty cop once asked for extra pickles (really wanting extra pickles) and was offered something else. Subway closed down shortly after this incident. To this day Kikar Tzion remains a favorite spot for Jerusalem dealers and they continue to sell right under the noses of the Border Police. It’s pretty unbelievable.
Remember the Arizona Bar? Well the summer before my first year in college I came to Jerusalem for a two month vacation. I resolved to see everything that USY Pilgrimage didn’t show me three years before. It was a wonderful trip. I traveled extensively and had some very strange experiences. My last two weeks were spent in Jerusalem , this was in 92, right before Oslo, tourism was huge and all the Hostels were packed to the brim. This is where I discovered the Traveler subculture. It was cool. It was my first time away from home and I intended to take full advantage of it. I met my first Danes, Germans, Norwegians and even a cool couple from Wyoming. I stayed at a place called Jasmine Cottage. I remember it being right off of Bezalel but I have no recollection where it was exactly. Many days were spent traveling with these folk. I went on an organized tour of Bethlehem, Jericho and Hebron with them. But mostly, I partied with them. Our evening would always start at the Arizona at 7:50 p.m. They had a gimmick where they would serve free beer for 20 minutes. It was a good gimmick but the Underground quickly had their own free 20 minutes of beer at 8:10. After the forty minute drinking binge I was pretty tanked. It was hard to keep up them and I was ready to pass out but I persevered. We would then go to the Pub Tavern (yes, that’s the name!) for “the deal.” I think we paid 30 shekels for two hours of open bar. It was a great deal. After two more hours of an absurd amount of alcohol intake we would head back to the Arizona. That place was a drug den and I’m not talking about herb. I couldn’t believe that it remained open for as long as it did. When I was bartending after the army at a bar popular with year abroad guys, there were deals going on all the time in the back. Anyway, I don’t know what’s up with this rant. I’m needlessly blabbing. What strikes me most about the above is the fact that I was once able to drink absurd amounts of alcohol and be able to function. Not that I really miss it, but these days I have one beer and I need a nap.
Sharon likes Hess cold cuts
Any one else catch on Channel 2 the audio tapes of Ariel Sharon speaking with David Appel last night? The only part of the conversation that remotely interested me was their discussion of food. Appel told Sharon about the great cold cuts he had the previous week in Ranaana. Sharon seemed really interested. They even discussed that it was Glatt Kosher. I could have sworn that Sharon had food in his mouth while talking. Anyway, they must be talking about Marcel “The Sausage King” Hess. He does make mighty fine cold cuts and sausages. They are quite pricey but oh so delicious. Mmmmmm. Sausage.
Yeah, back to those tapes and the BORING news of the potential indictment of Ariel Sharon. Or is it the potential recommendation of an indictment against Sharon? Yada Yada Yada. So if Sharon resigns (which I don’t think he will…ever) they’ll be another over the top, corrupt, circus-like election and we’ll get Bibi as our prime minister and then there will be peace! Yay!
I love Shwarma. No, not that turkey or chicken crap that passes as Shwarma these days but real lamb. I like it really well done and crispy. I ask for a little hummous, a tiny bit of zhug (a chili condiment) and a couple of chips. I don’t like putting in thirty different types of salads. My minimalist approach to shwarma eating is often frowned upon by shwarma stand proprietors. They usually give me the evil eye. I can read their thoughts though.
“How dare you request just meat! This means I must give you more meat to make up for the space in the pita that the salad would fill! I should charge you more for this outrageous act! You will be punished!”
The punishment is putting the hummous and the zhug at the way bottom of the pita so the last bite is super messy and unreasonably spicey. After the last bite there is obviously no more pita to douse the chili peppers blistering my mouth.
Dave at Israellycool linked to this story about a best selling CD in Gaza featuring songs dedicated to Yassin.
Dave came up with a hilarious list of songs he would expect on the CD which included:
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Killing Me Softly
Don’t Stand So Close to Me
Take on Me
Ashes to Ashes
Great Balls of Fire
I Don’t Like Mondays
Funny stuff. I decided to come up with my own selections.
From A Distance
Gallows Pole
Don’t let the sun go down on me
We Didn’t Start the Fire
So it’s official. Madonna will definitely be performing in Israel. It’s cool that she is going but I have absolutely zero interest in going. She doesn’t do it for me. Well, she did when I was like 14, but it had nothing to do with her music.
I wrote many moons ago about rock acts that have performed in Israel before and the need for Israeli youth to rock. You can read the entry here.
Hopefully this will be the impetus for more bands to come perform. But knowing my luck it will be Enrique Inglesias.
A phone conversation with Mom
Me: I’m stuck in traffic. I haven’t moved an inch in 30 minutes.
Mom: What’s going on?
Me: I’m assumming its a car accident.
We then talk about some CRAZY shit going on in my family. So if anyone knows a reliable private investigator in NY please let me know.
The conversation continues:
Me: Finally traffic is moving. It looks like a bad accident. A car is on fire.
Mom: Is it terrorism?
Me: No Mom, people here are just really bad drivers.
Chief Rabbi of Modi’in a demonslayer?
If there is something strange in your neighborhood….who you gonna call?
Not Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramus and Ernie Hudson.
Apparently the correct answer is former Modi’in Chief Rabbi David Lau (son of former Chief Rabbi Yisrael Lau. Rabbi Lau was called in recently to lead a prayer ceremony in the Prime Minister’s office. Many of the employees have been struck by tragedy recently and were calling to a higher power.
Oh, and a Shinui MK who no one has ever really heard of is pissed off.
According to this Ma’ariv article he said that the service was a ceremony to banish demons and even brought it up in the Knesset.
His questions:
Was the PM aware of the ceremony?
How much did it cost?
Was the curse removed?
He added, ?“This is government office and I think they crossed the line?”.
Ok dude, I voted for your party because I believe strongly in the separation of synagogue and state, but seriously relax. Our country is fucked and you are worrying about people turning to prayer in these very difficult times? Get over yourself you publicity whore. No one knew who you were before your stupid attack on these people and we have more important things to worry about. Like Passover shopping. Your PR ploy failed sad man!
Ah, Rabbi Lau’s comments in reaction to unknown Shinui man were cool.
“I came to pray the afternoon service and share some words of encouragement. All of a sudden I am accused of banishing demons. Unfortunately, I do not know how to banish demons. As a rabbi, I learned to pray, to teach and help people”
EVERYONE knows that it’s former Sephardic chief Rabbi Ovadia Yosef who knows how to banish demons! Duh!
UPDATE: My bad. I guess I didn’t pay attention to the article well enough. It was just Rabbi David Lau and his father Rabbi Yisrael Lau had nothing to do with it. I corrected the above passage to reflect that.
I do not believe in the Peace Now movement. Whoever colonized my land and expelled me from it is an invader even if he is a leftist. If people occupy a country which is not theirs and found a peace movement, does this change the fact that they are occupiers?
Dr. ‘Abdel Aziz al-Rantisi, the new leader of Hamas.
Glad to see a nice moderate Palestinian filling in Yassin’s shoes!
Read the interview here.
When I first woke up this morning and heard of Yassin’s demise, I was elated. Actually, my reaction was exactly like the shaisters. That reaction was “holy fucking shit.”
On my way to work I was annoyed at the massive amount of traffic at the roadblock on the way to Jerusalem. When I got to work I had a shitload of stuff to take care of so I put my headphones on and listened to music all day and didn’t really think about it. When passing a roadblock on the way home I noticed there were more soldiers than usual, they were obviously more alert and had their hemlets on their heads (which is unsual at this roadblock).
Later when sitting at home my elation turned quickly into fear when I thought about the possible ramifications of this act. It’s justified but so fucking dumb. If it was part of a greater operation to finally cripple Hamas it would be one thing. But I’m sure this is just one of the sporadic assassinations that trickle throughout the months here.
I’m reading a lot of non-Israeli bloggers who are touting this as some huge victory for Israel and the best thing to happen since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley made out at the MTV awards. It’s not. Yes, the man is evil. Does he deserve to die? Yes, of course. But could the security cabinet have really really thought about the consquences of this? I mean really?
Jabari, a gorilla without a history of violence escaped from his “habitat” at the Dallas Zoo. He injured several people and then was shot dead.
I wrote an instrumental in memory of the poor beast. Jabari, this is for you.
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