Are we slipping and sliding into a theocracy? Men and woman must now walk on the opposite sides of the street in a neighborhood of Bnei Brak. (via Jewschool) First segregated buses, now this. What’s next? Segregated supermarkets? Parks? Yet one more reason to vote Shinui. Uh, I take that back. I just found one more reason not to vote Shinui. Yikes.
Mazal Mazal
Three years ago today I married the most beautiful, caring, supportive and sweetest person I have ever met. Life has been good to me. Except for the arthritis of course.
When the Sopranos met Bowie
What a bizarre evening. The wife and I went to Tel Aviv to meet some friends visiting from New York for dinner. After a kick ass dinner of grilled meat and 3,000 salads in Jaffa we went to Brasserie M&R at Rabin Square for some coffee and dessert. Shortly after we arrived I noticed about four or five security guards standing in front of the restaurant and one stayed in front of the two Mercedes illegally parked out front. Someone sitting with us (a government worker) said that there is no way that it is a government minister because the only person in the government who has that much security is Ariel Sharon. Curiosity set in and after a short discussion we concluded it must be a mob boss. Considering the amount of failed hits on his life we thought it must be one of Israel’s most dangerous mobsters. Turns out we were correct. Now I don’t know much about security, but I do know if I was a mob boss and have had several attempted hits on my life I would take one of my security guards with me to the bathroom. My friend and I happened to go at the same time and as I opened the door ZR was on his way out. I held the door for him (as I would do for anyone) and he actually said thank you. I was going to offer my drug smuggling services but why would he bother with me when he has former government ministers to do that for him? Anyway, we could have TOTALLY taken him out - easily. I wouldn’t have made it out alive and even if I did I would be on the run for the rest of my life but its nice to fantasize about. Anyway, there have been many attempts on his life and innocent bystanders have been killed and severely wounded in failed assassination attempts. The irony wasn’t lost on me that we were sitting outside at a cafe in the middle of Tel Aviv and didn’t think twice about a potential suicide bombing but were suddenly worried about being caught in the crossfire of a mob hit.
Just wait, things get weirder. Just as a song by Aviv Gefen’s English group Blackfield comes on and I tell my friend about this impressive project, the Israeli glam rocker/full time whiner and complainer walks in. The wife comments that he is really short. She always comments on people’s height. Two minutes after that we see Mickey Sadeh, a contestant on our version of American Idol walks bye. My visiting friend (who is no stranger to Israel) was dumbfounded by the fact that his reputed mobster was wearing shorts, a really ugly shirt and crappy sandals. I don’t know if he was expecting him to be wearing an Armani suit or something but this is Israel. It’s as casual as it gets - even for mobsters. Afterward, on the drive home, I wondered why my friend was looking at his feet.
Anglosaxy nails why driving in Israel can be hazardous to your health.
Jerusalem is burning
Secular apathy led to the election of Lupolianski as mayor of Jerusalem. His term thus far has been an absolute disaster for the city and Jerusalem’s financial coffers are becoming slimmer and slimmer every month. Thousands leave every year. Secular Jews leave for bedroom communities like Modi’in while the religious head for Beit Shemesh. We met some friends in a park on the border of Katamon and the German Colony and I was shocked by the filth in the park. It was really disgusting. Jerusalem has gone to shit. Municipal taxes are out of control. People can’t rationalize paying absurd amount of dough for crappy services. I was surprised however to read this poll from Yerushalayim newspaper reproduced on the Arutz Sheva website.
Ninety-two percent of Hareidim questioned approve of his performance during his first year in office.
Secular approval of Lupy was 43%. 50% of those who voted for Lupolianski�s feel there is a change for the better in the capital while 5% of his voters feel things have gotten worse.
If elections were held for Jerusalem mayor today, respondents to the poll would reelect Lupolianski with 52% of the vote, followed by opposition leader Nir Barkat (38%), Yigal Amedi (3%) and undecided (7%).
If the secular public actually voted and people voted according to who can really run the city and not voting for Lupy “because he is religious and Jerusalem needs to remain holy” as stated to me by a friend. Wake up people. Jerusalem may be holy, but it’s in severe debt and the non-haredi majority is getting screwed in terms of allocation of funds.
In any case, I believe I have found a solution to guarantee a Nir Barkat victory.
This Jerusalem Post story discusses a new store that sells (gasp!) pork adjacent to the Mahane Yehuda open market.
The money quote is right here:
“The Torah does not allow for a Jew to do something that endangers other Jews,” yelled Aaron Abraham, a yeshiva student from Mea She’arim as policemen blocked the angry crowd from storming the storefront. “We came out here to protest this store and send Mayor [Uri] Lupolianski a message that even if he pretends to be a religious Jew we don’t support him.”
Couple of awesome statements in the above quote. First off, I didn’t know that selling pork endangers Jews. I’ll keep that in mind next time I yearn for some schweinefleisch. Second of all accusing Lupolianski of pretending to be a religious Jew is downright laughable. There are literally dozens of places that sell pork (and shellfish) in Jerusalem. Perhaps we need to make the haredi public aware of Iwo’s delicatessen, his newly opened burger joint (cutely named “not for vegetarians” and the myriad of other butchers and restaurants that serve these very “dangerous” meats and sea fruits. It seems that when it comes to serving in the IDF or getting a job the haredi excuse is always that they are “learning” but why is it they always seem to have time to protest archeological digs, non-kosher restaurants, public roads open on Shabbat, offensive sculptures and places of entertainment?
I am soooo glad we moved to Modi’in. My only regret is that I won’t be able to vote for Barkat in the next election.
Spin that shit yo!
The WIZO Nahalal School offers a two year course on DJ’ing for high school students according to this poorly written article in Ma’ariv.
Now class, in order for a piece to be considered trance is must have at least 140 bpms, zero to 70 if it’s ambient, and if it’s hardcore that you want, don’t be afraid to push those beats to 220 beats per minute. Now bring the house down!
Israeli girls get their groove on
According to a survey in Cosmopolitan magazine, Israeli women were among the those whoe “aren’t afraid to turn the tables when it comes to traditional sex roles.”
From the Jpost
“In Israel, women join the army at the age of 18, and their fast, high-adrenaline lifestyle spills over into their sex lives,” Lea Kantor-Matarrasso, the editor of Israeli Cosmo, told the American version of the magazine.
Uhhh…I don’t think so. While I did come across several hotties while serving in the army the vast majority of them….well…let’s just say they enjoyed their desk jobs as much as they did chocolate. But according to my sources in the dating scene women here do indeed……..uh…..they aren’t prudes. I’m not talking about these girls of course.
Yet another real phone conversation with my MOM
MOM: Your Dad and I are going to the city this weekend. We are going to stay there for a week.
ME: What will you be doing?
MOM: Some photography, museums and we have tickets for the Broadway show Hairspray. We will also be seeing your sister.
ME: Oh, Hairspray with Ricki Lake? Sounds like fun. I’m assuming you’ll be going to the Salute to Israel parade on Sunday.
MOM: We support Israel. Ricki Lake isn’t in Hairspray.
ME: So that means you are going to the parade? She was in the movie.
MOM: We weren’t planning on it. What movie?
ME: I find that offensive. Your son and daughter-in-law live in Israel and you refuse to salute us? Hairspray.
MOM: Oh Harry. Stop.
ME: You have an obligation to go. I’ll only excuse you if you support Israel by sending us money.
MOM: Fine, we’ll go to the parade.
ME: Don’t miss the El Al float. The news had a huge feature on it last night. Apparently, it’s the most expensive float ever made. It levitates.
MOM: Really?
ME: No, I just made that up.
MOM: Goodbye Harry.
ME: Ricki! Ricki! Ricki! Ricki!
MOM: Goodbye Harry.
ME: Bye Joyce! Happy Birthday!
Nick Hornby on aging and rock music in Friday’s NY Times. A beautifully written column.
Youth is a quality not unlike health: it’s found in greater abundance among the young, but we all need access to it. (And not all young people are lucky enough to be young. Think of those people at your college who wanted to be politicians or corporate lawyers, for example.) I’m not talking about the accouterments of youth: the unlined faces, the washboard stomachs, the hair. The young are welcome to all that � what would we do with it anyway? I’m talking about the energy, the wistful yearning, the inexplicable exhilaration, the sporadic sense of invincibility, the hope that stings like chlorine. When I was younger, rock music articulated these feelings, and now that I’m older it stimulates them, but either way, rock ‘n’ roll was and remains necessary because: who doesn’t need exhilaration and a sense of invincibility, even if it’s only now and again?
I took a look at Amazon.com after reading this on Saturday to see if this column had any affect on sales of previous Marah albums. I probably should have used junglescan.com to track it, but it didn’t cross my mind at the time…oh well. Anyway, arguably Marah’s best album, Kids in Philly, which was released in 2000 was at 120. Not bad. I hope it made the band a couple of bucks. Their last album, Float Away with the Friday Night Gods, was a big departure from Kids in Philly and was a bit too polished and poppy. It will be interesting to see if Hornby’s column provides any buzz for the underated rockers from Philly.
I would like to point out that the Jerusalem Post Art and Leisure section has added a new column a couple of weeks ago. Ben Jacobson reviews “Jewish music.”
This column tackles SHINSHINMEM. I had the opportunity to hear SHINSHINMEM and let me tell you…it’s freakin’ out there. Imagine what Nelly would sound like if he had a thing for dub and was wearing tefillin instead of that silly little band-aid on his face.
From the review…
ShinShinMem is out to break down walls, and he does so with ferocity on Shakua. His unique worldview is exemplified on “Pawn,” where his hybrid head of neo-Breslov post-shtetlism, his post-beatnik soapbox stream of consciousness, and his post-millennium musical salad (not quite guitar rock, not quite hip hop, not quite dub) come together in a way that is surprisingly cohesive and simultaneously appealing.
I’m not quite sure what “Neo-Breslov post-shtetlism” means, but it’s undeniably hysterical.
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