Jihad, Biatch
Yes, Dave Chappelle is the funniest man in America.
From Gawker:
On Christmas Eve, Dave Chappelle surprised the audience at the Comedy Cellar with over an hour and a half of his stand-up comedy. He was absolutely hilarious, making fun of all the weirdos that were there on Christmas eve. He made fun of my friends and I, being Jews on Christmas, as well as a guy who said he was from “Palestine”, and when that guy went to the bathroom five minutes later and left his bag at the table, Dave had everyone on the floor peeing in their pants as he screamed “suicide bomber! he left his bag, everyone down, we’re all getting blown up!”
This year sucked
Well, this year was probably one of the worst ever for me. The year 1995 previously had that dubious honor. That was the year of the cyst and the whore. However, despite what you think you may or may not know about me, the two have nothing to do with each other.
On a positive note, this was the year that I finally found relief for my blessed arthritis. So I would like to thank Centocor, makers of Remicade for creating such a wonderful disease altering drug. However, if you can figure out a way to get your drug to work without having to take Methotrexate with it I’d appreciate it. Methrotrexate is bad, bad stuff and it makes me feel like shit. Anyway, I haven’t felt this well in years and thankfully, my horrible limp is gone.
May this year be better than the last.
Abulafia, I love you.
The Abulafia bakery, located in the predominantly Arab city of Jaffa next to Tel Aviv, is 125 years old. This landmark bakery is open 24 hours a day and always has a crowd waiting for everything fresh from pita, Arab style pizza, honey drenched sweets, bagele and numerous other breads, as well as the hot Middle Eastern beverage, Sahlab. As usual there was a line when I arrived, giving me ample time to decide what I wanted to eat.
I bought an Arab style pizza with Bulgarian cheese, olives, olive oil and zahtar. Everything at Abulafia is fresh. The turnover is so great that the odds of buying something that isn’t fresh out of the oven are close to none. Needless to say, my pizza was hot. Too hot to handle actually. I describe it as a pizza only to serve as a frame of reference. The only thing it has in common with pizza is the fact that it is a flat bread with toppings. The comparison ends there. What I ate is called lachmajun in Arabic. Every Middle Eastern country has its own version. Bulgarian cheese is like feta but sharper and far more salty. The saltiness of the cheese contrasts nicely with the sourness of the olives and the zahtar seasoning. Huh? Zahtar? No, Zahtar is not the name of a bounty hunter from the Degobah system but rather a Middle Eastern spice.
Zahtar, the herb, as opposed to Zahtar the spice blend, is from the thyme family. The word Zahtar can refer to both a class of herbs and to the spice blend of za’atar, sumac, sesame seeds and salt. Now, I’m no food writer, but sumac…damn! Definitely one of my favorite spices, its sour properties often replace lemon or vinegar in recipes. Ok, enough herbal tangents. This wonderful concoction was served on top of a steaming, thick and yeasty pita fresh out of a traditional clay oven.
I should also mention that Dan’s sahlab virginity was broken last night. Sahlab is a thick Egyptian beverage made from orchid root and milk which is sprinkled generously with cinnamon, peanuts and coconut. Good stuff. I don’t think it went well with the tuna sandwich he was eating though. And I don’t think he enjoyed it all that much but was just being polite. He “accidently” spilled it
A hodgepodge of folks can be found at Abulafia at any time. During the day, passersby grab a quick bite on the way to work. On Friday mornings the lines of people buying fresh pita before the Sabbath begins are tremendous. And the lines are equally as long at three in the morning when Tel Aviv club goers and party folk want something delicious in their stomachs to soak up all the alcohol in their bellies after a night of dancing to that damn techno music. (and the party people go, Oooh! Oooh!) Abulafia is an institution in Israel and the food that the family has been serving at the same exact spot for 125 years is as authentic and indigenous as it gets.
Historical note: Napoleon Bonaparte captured Jaffa in 1799, eighty years too early to enjoy the delicious baked goods of Abulafia, but no matter because he was probably too short to look over the counter.
More Israeli Playboy fun!
Well this should be interesting. A documentary entitled “The First Zionist Playboy Bunny” will broadcast on Channel 10 this Saturday. The movie documents the selection process of last year’s competition to be the channel’s first presenter. See these two blog entries for more details.
Sounds like it’s going to be the documentary of the year…
The camera follows Noga to LA, where she discusses her lack of a bosom with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and has phone sex with Michael Wincott.
Full story.
Tsunami survivor account
Lisa of On the Face has posted her friend Delian’s frightening account of her brush with death in Sri Lanka.
It left me speechless.
Nobody cares that you are making Aliyah today
Call me a jaded mother fucker, I don’t care but I find all this “aliyah revolution” and “I’m making aliyah today” overzealous bullshit annoying as all hell. As I perused jrants this afternoon I came across this posting on kumah.org. Some guy stood outside the CBS morning show with a sign “I’m moving to Israel today.” Wow, standing in front of a fucking window in order to get on TV. The freaking epitome of loserdom.
I’m all for American aliyah. The more, the merrier. Come one, come all.
But, dude, this isn’t fucking Disneyland.
Farewell Rocky
I love the city of Albany, NY. Most people think it’s a shithole. It’s often mocked by friends who attended school there. Then again, the only time they ever left campus was to pick up a keg or to live in the insular college neighborhood of Pine Hills. They really didn’t know Albany or even care to get to know Albany. I thought the town had great character. And the characters in the town were even greater. One of the most well known personalities passed away last week. Rocky Nigro, Albany’s best known barkeep died at the age of 94.
Rocky owned the Palais Royale Grill on Jefferson street, a quirky dive bar of epic proportions and the prime example of an Albany institution. It’s jukebox had Patsy Cline and Frank Sinatra on it and hadn’t been updated in years. There was a vintage coin-operated table bowling (games for only 25 cents!), an antique popcorn popper that was in working order (A buck for a basket!)and enough kitschy paraphernalia to fill up a museum.
I would sparingly go to Palais my first two years at Albany (I had a really good ID) but really got to know it well during my “dark period” when I would go when I just wanted to be alone. When two of my friends moved right next door I got to know it even better. It attracted a real mixed crowd. Alcoholic Albany regulars, SUNY art students, professors and politicians would sit at the bar or in dark corners smoking cigarettes, puffing on cigars and downing splits of Budweiser and Rolling Rock.
All under the watchful eye of Rocky.
Rodin’s ‘Thinker’ too risque for J-town
Jpost reports,
The haredi-controlled Jerusalem municipality has rejected a proposal to bring a replica of Rodin’s The Thinker to Jerusalem due to ultra-orthodox opposition.
“We cannot allow the placement of such a sculpture in a city like Jerusalem,” said Deputy Mayor Shlomi Atias (Shas). “If he was wearing a bathing suit, then maybe it would have passed, but he is totally naked,” he added.
While intelligent comments like the one above were being made by a deputy mayor, the official reason for the rejection according to a municipality statement is that they “couldn’t find private donors to cover the high cost of insurance and shipping for the sculpture – a total of NIS 550,000.”
Opposition leader, and hopefully next mayor of Jerusalem, Nir Barkat said “that he could have predicted the “discriminatory” municipal decision to veto the placement of the sculpture in a nonreligious section of Jerusalem.”
“From my year-and-a-half acquaintanceship with the decision-making process of Mayor [Uri] Lupolianski I am not surprised, since he does not act as the mayor of all the people of Jerusalem,” Barkat said, bemoaning what he called “a blow to the pluralism of Jerusalem.”
Pluralism in Jerusalem my ass. Just last week Mayor Lupolianski was fined by the Jerusalem District Court for illegally allocating two public buildings to private haredi schools.
(cross posted to Jewschool)
I’m always the last to know
Israel’s Communications Ministry has amended licenses for mobile phone operators to restrict access to pornographic services following complaints that too many children were exposed to erotic material.
The ministry said Sunday in a statement that it will restrict the transmission of porn through video clips and movies on cell phones that use high-speed third-generation networks.
Adults would still be allowed to access the services by entering a code and only after being identified as an adult, the ministry said.
Communications Minister Ehud Olmert said he wanted to expand the restrictions to long-distance telecommunications providers.
Israel has four mobile phone operators: Cellcom, Partner, Pelephone and Mirs. The latter is part-owned by Motorola.
The operators combined have nearly 7 million Israeli subscribers–many of them children and teenagers.
Olmert decided to take action after receiving complaints about the exposure of minors to erotic and pornographic material, and following hearings with the mobile providers.
(Reuters)
I wasn’t even aware that one could attain porn via cellphones!!!!
Dance party saved Israeli lives?
This definitely falls in the “oddly enough” category but it looks like many Israelis were saved because they decided to attend the famous “full moon party” on an island that wasn’t severely affected by the tsunamis.
Israel’s consul in Bangkok, Yaakov Dvir, said the number of Israelis hurt by the tsunami on Koh Phi Phi island was low because most Israeli vacationers went to the big “Full Moon” bash on Koh Phangan island.
Full story.
Over five hundred Israelis are still missing according to Ha’aretz.
-
Search
-
-
My Flickr
