Live blogging Elections!
Great live blogging from Allison, David and Alan.
Check them out!
Zombie attack at Israeli election event!!!
Spent the day at Rabin Square in Tel Aviv. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Channel 10 has set up this absurd fish tank stadium and are basically using the elections to promote their channel and the Israeli version of “America’s Next Top Model.” They had life size cardboard cutouts of all the models on display.A few of the models made appearances and their were hordes of people requesting autographs. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, a group of zombies forced themselves through the crowd, demanded autographs and attempted to eat the brains of all who got in their way. It was a bloodbath. I’m lucky I escaped with my life.
Election Shmelections
Kadima, feh I say. Everyone I know is voting for Kadima because “they don’t really have a choice.” Thing is, there is a choice. And for me that choice is integrity. Kadima is in essence the first national unity government running on the same ticket. Name one national unity government that made it through one term without falling apart. Ok, I can name one, but that doesn’t take away from my point. This government isn’t going to last. Kadima isn’t going to last. They may have filled their ranks with academics and new faces but the fact remains that corrupt fuckers like Meir Shitreet, Tzachi Hanegbi and Ronnie Bar-On are still in the top spots. Olmert’s hands are the cleanest either. If I was voting on hotness of candidates Kadima would have my vote. Anastasia Michaeli and Liat Ravner are easy on the eyes, but Kadima hasn’t put either of these political hotties on a realistic place on the ticket. Shame on you Kadima! Bottom line is that Kadima is just more of the same - self-interested politicians who represent nobody but themselves. Likud isn’t much better. Bibi’s party (let’s not forget he gave up Hebron) still has Naomi Blumenthal on his list. Blumenthal was sentenced to eight months in jail, a month after she was found guilty of bribery and obstruction of justice. YET SHE IS STILL ON LIKUD’S LIST.
Everyone is promising reform but no one will deliver. They never do. Since 1991, Knesset members have voted to raise their salaries by 90%. And last year NIS 10 million was allocated to the expense accounts of Parliamentary aides. An increase of NIS 10,000 a month per aide, that’s almost double their salaries. Ever watch the Knesset channel? It’s captivating television, let me tell you. It’s lovely to see an empty Knesset majority of the time unless of course when a vote occurs that is likely to topple the government.
Kadima, the not so progressive party, announced that they will likely form a coalition with Shas. Shas, Shas, Shas, where do I begin.
A few years ago when a number of gay flags were torn down and burned in Jerusalem, Shas MK Nissim Ze’ev refused to condemn the flag-burning, and said the gay pride parade should be forbidden. The gay-lesbian community “is a marginal, fringe group, and they must not be given a public stage.”
In 2004 Shas Chairman Eli Yishai today said that then-Minister of Internal Affairs Avraham Poraz is worse than Haman in response to Poraz’s bill to grant citizenship to the children of foreign workers.
Shas makes political choices based on what their Rabbis say and make important political decisions based on how much money they are going to receive for their projects. They aren’t transparent about it either. The Shas party are political whores who will form a coalition with anyone, as long as the government coffers are filling their pockets. As I have mentioned before there are many corrupt politicians in the Knesset. But Shas takes the cake. I obviously don’t need to mention Aryeh Deri’s thievery. Two years ago, Labor and Social Affairs Minister Shlomo Benizri from Shas was questioned (for the second time) by Police on taking bribes from contractors. Years later this still hasn’t been resolved. Two years ago, the Health Minister, also a Shas member spent a full week in the David Intercontinental Hotel in Tel Aviv and racked up a bill of over 6000 dollars. He attempted to write off all of his expenses to the Knesset, which is essentially the taxpaying public.
When the Knesset voted on the current budget for the year 2004 , the vote was postponed for four hours because the Shas MKs want to go hear a lecture given my Rabbi Ovadia Yosef. They basically blackmailed the Likud party. They told them, ן”Postpone the vote, or we won’t support the budget”.
Shas spearheaded the censorship of pornography on Israeli television. The pornography was strictly pay-per-view television. Majority of Haredim do not even own televisions so there would be a zero possibility that their “constituents” would be exposed to the “corrupting” movies. I’m not a porn fanatic myself but gosh darn it if I want to watch “Sluts who like chocolate” it should be my right to do so
A few years back became apparent that the first openly gay member of Knesset, Uzi Even would be sworn-in, Nissim Zeev of the Shas party declared he would not be shaking Even’s hand after he is sworn in. “That man represents debauchery and bestiality in mankind” he said. Eli Ishai, chairman of the Shas party stated, “This represents a moral decline”.
And of course, last Thursday Yair Peretz, also from Shas, became the fourth member of the current parliament to be convicted of a crime.
t least 15 members of this past Knesset have been investigated and several have been convicted of crimes. Yet, we continue to vote for the same parties and same politicians who look out for their own interests and not our own.
It doesn’t really matter who wins today. It’s all bullshit. Nothing is going to change. I’ve decided to vote for Tafnit. Never heard of them? Most people haven’t. They probably don’t have a chance in hell in getting in, but at least I’m voting for a party whose positions I believe in. I refuse to be bullied into the “I’m voting for Kadima because I don’t have a choice” attitude. My friend’s have accused me of wasting a vote by voting for a small party. The only waste is not voting at all. Truth is, it doesn’t really matter, nothing is going to change. Same shit. Different election.
Madonna to perform in Israel…yawn
Ynet is reporting that Madonna is planning a concert this September in Israel. Perhaps this time she won’t use the “terrorists threatened me” excuse.
I hate Sting and I don’t want him visiting my country
I saw Sting once at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center. It was by far one of the worst experiences of my life. It was so bad that my shlockometer broke halfway during the show. What the fuck was that jazzy version of “Roxanne” all about? How could this be the same man who wrote “So Lonely?” I’ll be sure to stear clear of Ramat-Gan when Sting performs there on June 3rd. Thinking about leaving the country actually.
I have no plans to attend the rumored 50 Cent show, Roger Waters or the Ricky “I’m performing in your country as an apology for wearing a kefiyah” Martin. I’m considering seeing Devendra Banhart in July however.
Where are you Radiohead? We need you!
Support Israeli poultry!
No need to get hysterical. So what if the now Israel-based avian flu resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of poultry in the south of the country? Why should I fret that a few cases were also reported at Kibbutz Nachshon, less than twenty miles away from my humble abode? No need to fear. As long as I don’t rub chicken feces on my body I should be ok. Also, at next week’s cockfight in Ramle, I’ll be sure to wear gloves and a mask and keep Fightin’ Leroy’s ass away from my face.
The EU has is currently banning poultry imports from Israel. Now that’s one boycott of Israel that I can throw all my support behind. At this time we need to support Israel’s poultry industry. I assume more damage is going to be done by the public abstaining from poultry than the avian holocaust that is occurring right now. I’ve done my part. A large vat of chicken soup was made on Friday and chicken is on the menu for tonight.
Paris Hilton Israel bound?
I know I’ve complained in the past about the lack of Hollywood stars and musicians who visit Israel. Now that The Jerusalem Post is reporting that Paris Hilton might come at the end of the month for a photo shoot. God help us all.
Millionaire model and actress Paris Hilton could be the next big American star to visit Israel, according to a report Monday in Hebrew daily Ma’ariv. Hilton’s manager was approached by the Israeli branch of the Elite Modeling Agency to pose for a line of beachwear, said the report.If she agrees to the assignment, then Hilton could be in Israel as soon as the end of this month. Hilton will also participate in the modeling agency’s three-year anniversary celebration at Tel Aviv hot spot Viskia. A spokesman for the Hilton hotel chain in Israel could not confirm whether Paris Hilton was visiting. He said: “There are always rumors that Paris Hilton will visit but we have no knowledge of a future reservation.”
I’m going to shut up now. This is not hot.
Green Leaf party embraces hot lesbians, polls show the people agree
With the elections less than three weeks away (yawn)I find myself growing more ill by the day. The slogans, the ads, the billboards, it’s just too much. Find me a party that is socially liberal, fiscally somewhat conservative, in support of unilateral withdrawals (except for Gush Eztion and Ariel) and isn’t corrupt. Tafnit maybe? They don’t really don’t have a chance though.
At the very least I’ve been enjoying watching the election commercials. They are always a trip and the Green Leaf party once again didn’t disappoint. They’ve come a long way since the days of supporters waving an Israeli flag and dancing to a trance rendition of the national anthem. Once again the polls are pointing that the pro-marijuana party is poised to make it into the Knesset and I’m sure this commercial supporting secular and gay marriage only brought them more supporters. When was the last time you heard of a political party using hot lesbians to garner votes? Actually, Howard Stern running for governor of NY in the mid-nineties comes to mind…
Anyway, check it out…
I was all set to vote for Green Leaf until candidate Shlomi Sendak told the Jerusalem Post that he would negotiate with Hamas. Sorry, can’t support the party after a comment like that regardless of how much I agree with their other “aspirations”.
Reading that AP story about the party made me realize how stupid some of our fucking leaders can be. Former Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom had this gem of a quote:
“legalizing drugs is insane. It starts with a cigarette, leads to a joint and ends with cocaine.”
Cigarettes is the new gateway drug! Who would have thought?
Matisyahu to Jdub records: F*ck you!
The New York Times is reporting that after many years of friendship and artist development, Matisyahu has apparantly become too big for his britches and has dropped Jdub Records as his management.
Mobius, who is taking this very personally, has a biting post over at Jewschool entitled “Honor Not A False Messiah.” Ouch.
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