Songs in the Key of Ziva

So pregnant women have strange aversions to food and the like. Ziva can’t stomach chicken on the bone. Harry loves chicken. Harry never met a chicken he didn’t like. Harry is very upset about the lack of chicken in his life. But Harry can deal with that. Harry cannot however deal with referring to himself in the third person and is quite dumbfounded as to why he continues to do so. He will stop now. Occasionally I can coerce her, “Perhaps the aversion is gone. Let’s roast a bird!” She usually agrees. Sadly, the chicken sits barely touched on Ziva’s plate and I feel dirty. There are several benefits however. Her sudden love for ice cream and candy is a strong as her hatred for chicken. In the last six months I have eaten at least 12 pounds worth. I know this because that’s how much weight I have gained. My pants are a bit tight these days, so I’m laying off the junk for now. They tell me that sugar is bad for you and I should eat more fruit, but I’m not convinced. Grapes make me pee. Pudding does not. God I love pudding. I’m looking forward to losing weight so I can start eating junk again.

Everyone talks about hormones and emotional stability during pregnancy. I’ve read a lot thus far (What to Expect When You are Expecting and The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy) and neither book mentions my wife’s most bizarre behavior. She tends to bust in out song. Now we are a musical family and there is a lot of singing in this house, but should a line be drawn somewhere?. Is launching into renditions of Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman,” “Informer” by Snow, Europe’s “Final Countdown and Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus”* ever acceptable?

Ziva says she can’t help herself. She often catches herself within the first line of the song, but it’s usually too late. The damage is done. And the song stays in my head until she busts out singing “We Built this City on Rock and Roll.”

Now, I’m willing to forgive her of course and let this behavior slide because, after all, I love her more than anything in this world and of course, she’s the one carrying the baby and doing all of the hard work. It actually can be a quite entertaining habit and provides a lot of laughs. Life is good.

* Real song titles have been changed to protect the innocent. Yes, the songs she’s been singing are actually worse than the ones listed above.