We have what you call a “high maintenance” garden. Combine that with “time management issues,” one member of the household who deals with “chronic pain” (that would be me) and “not enough money to spend on a gardener to come every two weeks to weed” and you are headed for a garden disaster.

Sure, I can mow the lawn every week, it’s not a big deal, takes a relatively small amount of effort and about twenty minutes. However, we have a two different areas where we have various trees, bushes and plants surrounded by dirt. Without weeding these areas frequently, they quickly become overrun. It got to a point where we simply could not enjoy being outside and frankly, I was somewhat embarrassed for guests to see its condition.

We needed a solution. And that solution was volcanic tuff. I envisioned the two problematic areas covered with a layer of plastic to keep the weeds out and layered with copious amounts of ubiquitous reddish tuff. It’s aesthetically pleasing and I would only have to pull out the rare weed that was strong enough to break through the plastic. Luckily, the gardener I brought in for an estimate agreed with me.

I also wanted a small garden (very small) where my daughter and I could grow herbs and perhaps some vegetables.

Two weeks – and not a small sum of shekels- later , I’m happy to say my vision is now a reality. The following photos were taken over a month ago and I’m happy to say the lawn is looking greener, my lemongrass has come back to life, my orange and lemon trees have fruit and my new lime tree seems very happy in its new home.

Needless to say I was kind perturbed to read this story in Ha’aretz that says the air quality in my town of Modi’in is now worse that Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

The air in Modi’in contained extremely high levels of particles which when inhaled, can pose a health risk. The ministry attributed the high levels of pollutants to the large scope of construction and quarrying carried out the area.

They started quarrying (is that a word?) a couple of weeks ago literally across the street from our place and the dust is tolerable because it’s winter and the windows remain closed but the incessant noise from 6:45 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. is doing my damn head in.

I happen to live in the town where historically the Maccabees originated.

In fact, I live Channukah every day of the year.

I always thought that Modi’in’s city slogan should be “Modi’in, where it’s Channukah 365 days a year.”

Not Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramus and Ernie Hudson.

Apparently the correct answer is former Modi’in Chief Rabbi David Lau (son of former Chief Rabbi Yisrael Lau. Rabbi Lau was called in recently to lead a prayer ceremony in the Prime Minister’s office. Many of the employees have been struck by tragedy recently and were calling to a higher power.

Oh, and a Shinui MK who no one has ever really heard of is pissed off.

According to this Ma’ariv article he said that the service was a ceremony to banish demons and even brought it up in the Knesset.

His questions:

Was the PM aware of the ceremony?

How much did it cost?

Was the curse removed?

He added, ?“This is government office and I think they crossed the line?”.

Ok dude, I voted for your party because I believe strongly in the separation of synagogue and state, but seriously relax. Our country is fucked and you are worrying about people turning to prayer in these very difficult times? Get over yourself you publicity whore. No one knew who you were before your stupid attack on these people and we have more important things to worry about. Like Passover shopping. Your PR ploy failed sad man!

Ah, Rabbi Lau’s comments in reaction to unknown Shinui man were cool.

“I came to pray the afternoon service and share some words of encouragement. All of a sudden I am accused of banishing demons. Unfortunately, I do not know how to banish demons. As a rabbi, I learned to pray, to teach and help people”

EVERYONE knows that it’s former Sephardic chief Rabbi Ovadia Yosef who knows how to banish demons! Duh!

UPDATE: My bad. I guess I didn’t pay attention to the article well enough. It was just Rabbi David Lau and his father Rabbi Yisrael Lau had nothing to do with it. I corrected the above passage to reflect that.

Fair enough. I guess that is impetus enough to start writing again.

It’s unfortunate that I haven’t been into writing so much but the problem lies with our big move out to Modi’in. We decided to part with our old office chair. It was in my possession for over 15 years and I threw it into my lift when I made aliyah seven years ago. It wasn’t the best chair but we had a good relationship. It was falling apart so it had to go.

This was over four months ago. Since we haven’t had the opportunity to replace it yet, I have been standing while using my computer. This has done my back in. I went to look for a chair yesterday in Givat Shaul in Jerusalem but was disappointed with the selection. The search continues…

We already know what party we are voting for (its an independent one) but we still aren’t sure who we are voting for Mayor. We are definitely not voting for Moshe Schecter, the current mayor. The job has gotten way too big for him. The other candidates are nothing to write home about either. They are all mediocre and their platforms are pretty much identical. This election is the first one in Modi’in where the municipalities of the affluent towns of Maccabean and Reut now fall under the same umbrella as Modi’in.

It’s seems that there are a record number of Anglos running for city council seats this year throughout the country. Here in Modi’in, American born Alex Weinreb was initially running for Mayor but is not number 2 on Moshe Spector’s list (Not to be confused to Schecter!). Spector has been head of the Maccabean-Reut council for a number of years and is extremely popular. His party is expected to garner at least three seats on the council. There is a party called Shachar (not to be confused with Beilin’ “movement”), which is a mixed secular-religious party whose main focus is education. There is apparently an American woman on their list.

According to this Ha’aretz article five anglo candidates are pretty much sure things in their local elections.

Anglos here in Israel are always complaining about how they have no representation in the government. Even though these candidates represent a hodgepodge of religious and political views, it’s a real pleasure seeing them step up to the plate.

This Jpost article talks about members of the Masorti (Conservative) movement who are running as well.

We were living on Abraham Lincoln street or as they say in Hebrew “AVRAHAM LINCOLIN.” It’s located right behind the YMCA in Jerusalem. It was weird being back in town. First of all the noise. The ambient noise which probably doesn’t affect most city-dwellers was a bit too much on my ears. I got used to the quiet of life on a moshav.

I must say I enjoyed the time we spent sitting on the porch watching people go by. Bibi and Sarah even took a shabbat stroll by our place. Colorful characters would ask for directions, stare, say hello or just yell at my dogs.

Another bonus was living near Cafe Hess. A wonderful cafe down the block. The owner Gilad is a real mensch and has created a beautiful neighborhood cafe where I got a cup of coffee nearly every morning.

My dogs weren’t so impressed with the holy city. Too many noises to startle them and not enough space. Thankfully in our new home in Modi’in we have a substantial garden for them to play in.

Good times. Good times. Noodle pudding.

Consider this a new beginning. I’m back and I have a ton of shit to talk about and will probably need some DIY advice.

Modi’in is a relatively new town smack between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. If your interested you can read about it here and here.

Modi’in is the ancient home of the Maccabees. I came up with a slogan for the town.

Modi’in – where it’s Channukah 365 days a year.

It’s funny because the weekend edition of Ma’ariv had an article on the top ten things you should be spending your money on this summer.

Number 4? A house in Modi’in. So we are quite happy with our investment.

We spent the entire weekend packing because we need to be out of our rented apartment by Thursday. Our original plans fell through so we need to find a place to rent for a month within the next couple of days. Anyone got any leads?

Ah, the stress. I just don’t have time to worry about hundas, Iranian missile threats, Hamas, Haredi stone throwers, anti-Semitic Oxford professors and Arafat’s ramblings.

I have my own problems.